Kink Consultations: Why They’re a Good Idea by Headmistress Shahrazad

Kink Consultations: Why They’re a Good Idea

By Headmistress Shahrazad

The weird and wonderful world of BDSM is a giant cornucopia of erotic experiences, so it’s not at all surprising that most people feel overwhelmed when considering where to start exploring. It’s also a rare person who received any kind of guidance growing up about how to make sense of unusual fantasies, so I can empathize with folks who have a hard time sharing exactly what they’re looking for. Many people feel shame or guilt about their desires and have not yet reached a level of self-acceptance, though they desperately want to. Others may know that they want to explore BDSM, but feel shy or hesitant about delving into that desire with a professional whom they’ve never met.

While many people overlook kink consultations and go right to booking professional sessions, they may miss a rare opportunity to take their kink to a whole new level of personal satisfaction and self-knowledge. Others may never take the leap to professional play sessions because their inner fears and shame prevent them from approaching, not realizing that a kink consult can be a safe and non-committal way to test the waters.

In a kink consultation, you have a full hour with the dominant that you are interested in doing a play session with (if that your intention), or with myself (if you are seeking the consult simply for your own personal healing or self-exploration). In that hour, you have an opportunity to engage in dialogue about your interests and boundaries with someone who can help you reach a more nuanced level of self-understanding, and who can dispel any myths about your desires. Many people report that the consultation is healing simply by virtue of being able to talk openly with someone non-judgemental who understood their kinks (often for the first time in their lives).

Another recent client reported that doing a kink consult “made me realize that I’d been describing what I wanted in a way that made it hard for my partners to understand exactly what I was after. It was like a light bulb going off and explained why I’d been so frustrated over the years. When I finally had a play session it was unbelievable and I credit that to finally figuring myself out.”

You can also take the opportunity that a consultation affords to ask detailed questions about how a prospective scene might play out, or to get to know the play style of the staff member you’re looking to play with. This can make a play session much more comfortable to enter into as you will have already met and spoken with your dominant, giving you a better idea of what to expect. Conversely, while our staff are very approachable and adaptable to many types of people, if your personalities or play styles truly do not mesh then you will have spared yourself the sometimes awkward experience of finding that out during a play session. Kink consultations therefore have a variety of benefits to those on the journey of figuring out who they are and what they desire as kinky beings.

If you’d like to book a kink consult, or have further questions about them, contact Headmistress Shahrazad at www.theritualchamber.ca/contact.